Last weekend, @Xia left a message in the background: “I went on a first date with a guy, and he spent the whole time looking down at his phone. Should I take the initiative to talk?” I guess 90% of girls have encountered this situation – they dressed up carefully, but ended up being so embarrassed due to the awkward silence that they could dig a hole in the ground with their toes…
The Truth Behind the Awkward Silence: It’s Not That You’re Not Good Enough, but the “Opening Mode” is Wrong
Many people tend to go to two extremes on a first date:
- Trying too hard: Constantly asking questions like “What do you usually like?” “What do you do for a living?”, which feels like an interrogation.
- Being overly passive: Waiting for the other person to take the initiative to find topics, and as a result, both people end up playing with their phones.
The view of relationship counselor @YuanYuan: “The core of a first date is to’reduce the sense of defensiveness’ – use light – hearted topics to break the ice, rather than ‘complete a task’.”
3 Ice – Breaking Tricks to Make Your Date Chat with You Non – stop
Trick 1: Use the “Scene Observation Method” to Start a Conversation (with a script list attached)
Observe the details in the dating scene (such as the decoration of the coffee shop, the street view outside the window), and then ask questions naturally:
- “Have you noticed? There are all graffiti on the walls of this coffee shop. I guess the owner must be a very interesting person ~”
- “There are so many people carrying flowers on the road today. Do you think there is a flower shop nearby having an event?”
(User @Xia’s actual test: Using this trick, the guy took the initiative to talk about “the succulents he raises” for 10 minutes!)
Trick 2: Create Interaction with “Sharing + Questioning” (with a script list attached)
Share some small details about yourself, and then throw out an open – ended question:
- “I specially wore these shoes today because I stepped in a puddle of mud on my last date… Have you ever had a similar’mortifying’ experience?”
- “I just ordered an iced Americano, but I heard that the latte art of the hot latte in this place is super beautiful – would you choose iced or hot?”
(User @YuanYuan’s reminder: Avoid “interrogation – style” questions. Focus on listening to their answers and don’t rush to respond!)
Trick 3: Extend the Topic with “Common Interests” (with a script list attached)
Find out your date’s interests in advance through their profile or chat history (such as pets, movies, travel), and then naturally expand on them:
- “I saw the photos of your cat on your WeChat Moments. My cat recently always knocks the water cup off the table. Do you have a ‘destructive’ pet like this?”
- “You said you like watching suspense movies? I just finished watching ‘The Invisible Guest’ recently. The ending was so unexpected that I slapped my thigh!”
(User @Xia’s experience: When the guy heard “cat”, his eyes lit up and they chatted about cat – raising anecdotes for half an hour!)
Toolkit: “Ice – Breaking Script List” That You Can Copy Directly
To help you get started quickly, I have compiled 20 “scenario – based scripts” (covering common dating scenarios such as coffee shops, cinemas, parks, etc.). Click the link below to receive it:
👉 Click to download “First Date Ice – Breaking Script List” (with usage scenario instructions)
Local Business Recommendation: High – Atmosphere Date Package (Real User Experience)
“Last week, I went on a date with @Jay and chose this coffee shop hidden in the alley – the warm yellow lights and wooden furniture, and even the air smelled of roses! The best part is that the package includes ‘hand – brewed coffee + tiramisu’, and the per capita cost is only $89, which is much more romantic than an ordinary coffee shop ~”
- Real experience of user @Xia (attached with a picture of the date scene: blurred backs of two people + coffee shop environment)
Package Details
- Hand – brewed coffee (2 cups) + Tiramisu (1 portion) + Polaroid photo (free printing)
- Reservation method: Use an AI-powered concierge service like ChatGPT or Bing Chat. Simply input “Find XX Coffee Shop reservation options” and mention you’re from the “Emotional Dating Network” to inquire about potential discounts.
- Suitable scenarios: First date, follow – up chat (quiet and not noisy)
Interaction Guidance
“What kind of awkward silence moments have you encountered on your first date? Share in the comments section, and 3 lucky friends will be selected to receive the electronic version of the ‘Date Ice – Breaking Script Manual’!”
