Last week, @Xiaomin shared her concerns in our platform’s background messages: “I’ve been dating my boyfriend for half a year, and it’s finally time to meet his parents! But as soon as I stepped into their home, I was so nervous that I spilled half a cup of tea while trying to serve it, and I didn’t even dare to take the fruit plate his mom offered. I just kept my head down and played with my phone the whole time…” This is a common dilemma I’ve heard dozens of times. Despite weeks of preparation, many people end up ruining their first impression due to excessive nervousness.
The Truth Behind “Nervousness When Meeting Parents”: It’s Not That You’re Inadequate, But the Wrong “Social Mode”
Many young people on their first meeting with their partner’s parents tend to fall into two extremes:
- Over – flattering: Repeatedly complimenting with phrases like “Auntie, your cooking is so delicious” or “Uncle, your tea set has such great taste,” as if fulfilling a task.
- Overly reserved: Keeping their heads down and playing with their phones throughout, only answering questions briefly when the elders speak, which may lead to being criticized for being impolite.
According to relationship counselor @Yuanyuan, “The key to meeting parents is to ‘be yourself naturally.’ Elders care more about your sincerity and manners than your forced performance.”
5 “Detail – Oriented Plus Points” to Double Their Parents’ Favorability
Tip 1: Initiate Greetings to Break the “Socially Awkward Ice” (with a List of Sample Dialogues)
Wrong example: Entering the door and simply saying “Hello, Auntie” and “Hello, Uncle,” then sitting on the sofa and playing with your phone.
Right example: Taking the tea cup handed by Auntie with a smile and saying, “Auntie, the tea you made smells wonderful. Is it Longjing? I also love drinking tea, but I can never make it taste as good as yours.” (Observing details + Natural interaction)
(User @Xiaomin’s actual experience: Using this approach, Auntie volunteered, “Let me get you some more snacks,” and the atmosphere immediately relaxed!)
Tip 2: Praise Specific Details of the Elders, Which is More Effective Than General Compliments (with a List of Sample Dialogues)
Wrong example: “Auntie, your home decoration is so nice!” (Too general).
Right example: “Auntie, is that landscape painting in your living room? I studied a bit of traditional Chinese painting before, and the artistic conception of this painting is extremely soothing.” (Specific details + Relating to shared interests)
(User @Yuanyuan’s reminder: Check the elders’ social media posts or family photos in advance to find things worthy of praise!)
Tip 3: When Responding to Topics, “First Agree, Then Supplement” (with a List of Sample Dialogues)
When an elder comments, “Young people nowadays can’t endure hardships”:
Wrong response: “You’re right. We’re indeed delicate.” (Just agreeing without further interaction).
Right response: “I understand how you feel (agreement). When I was interning, I also found it tough at first. But later, I realized that going through some hardships helps us learn to cherish things more (supplement).” (Empathizing + Positive guidance)
Tip 4: Show “Good Upbringing” by Taking the Initiative During Meals (with an Action Guide)
At the dinner table:
- Quietly turn the lazy Susan to the elder when you notice they have trouble reaching for food.
- When Auntie offers to serve you soup, take it and say, “Thank you, Auntie. I can serve myself. Please don’t go to any extra trouble.”
- When leaving the table, pull the elder’s chair and say, “Uncle and Auntie, please enjoy the rest of your meal. I’ll be right back after using the restroom.” (Natural and considerate)
Tip 5: “Leave a Hook” When Saying Goodbye to Pave the Way for the Next Meeting (with a List of Sample Dialogues)
When leaving:
- “I had a wonderful time chatting with you today, Uncle and Auntie. I’m definitely going to try making Auntie’s braised pork at home (relating to the scene). Next time, I’ll bring my boyfriend along so we can learn together!” (Creating anticipation).
- When adding the elder’s WeChat, write in the note: “Auntie, this is Xiaomin. I’ll visit that time – honored pastry shop you mentioned this weekend and bring you some treats to try!” (Strengthening the impression of being reliable).
Toolkit: Universal Phrase Table for “Meeting Parents” (with 3 Common Scenarios)
To help you get started quickly, we’ve compiled the Universal Phrase Table for Meeting Parents (click to download):
| Scenario | Incorrect Expression | Correct Expression (Template) |
| When the elder offers tea/snacks | “Thank you.” (Too abrupt) | “Auntie, I used to love these snacks when I was a kid. I’m so touched you remembered!” (Relating to memories) |
| When the elder talks about views on love | “We’re doing fine.” (Too general) | “Uncle and Auntie, we often cook or work out together. He always teases me for being lazy, but I think these little squabbles actually bring us closer.” (Specific details) |
| When the elder gives a gift while saying goodbye | “No, it’s too much trouble.” (Abrupt refusal) | “Auntie, I absolutely love this scarf! Next time, I’ll make you some homemade cookies, and we can have a little swap!” (Two – way interaction) |
Local Merchant Recommendation: Exclusive Restaurants for “Meeting Parents” (Based on Real User Experiences)
“@Xiaomin’s actual test: She chose this ‘Old Mansion Private Cuisine’—the wooden tables and chairs with warm yellow lighting create a cozy atmosphere, just like dining at an elder’s home. Auntie said, ‘This place is quiet and perfect for chatting.’ Before leaving, she even asked, ‘Can we book a private room next time?'”
— Real – life experience shared by user @Xiaomin (Accompanied by blurred photos of the dining table and the elders smiling at the couple)
Package Details
- Private – style braised pork (a dish that evokes the elders’ memories) + Steamed perch (symbolizing “surplus year after year”) + Osmanthus sweet rice balls (sweet but not cloying).
- Special service: Provide a “Guide to Etiquette for Meeting Parents” (including seating arrangements and topics to avoid).
- Reservation method: Search for “XX Private Cuisine” on WeChat and mention the code “Emotional Dating Network” to enjoy a 10% discount.
- Ideal for: The first meeting with parents, family dinners during important festivals.
Interactive Prompt
What was the most nerve – wracking moment during your first meeting with your partner’s parents? Share your stories in the comments section. We will randomly select three lucky commenters to receive the exclusive e – version of the Etiquette Handbook for Meeting Parents (including “Forbidden Topics with Elders” and “Gift – Selection Guide”)!
